Healthy relationships and stability start inside each of us

It’s been my fault, and I’m ready to admit it – and even take it a step further; I’m doing something about it. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault that I overextended myself, made promises I couldn’t keep, and generally drove myself into the ground trying to be all things to all people, while ending up being nothing to almost all of them in the process. No one forced me to keep going until I was exhausted and depleted, no one held a gun to my head and said “you can’t stop, you must meet every challenge ahead of schedule.”

It really, truly, and deeply is only one person’s responsibility to properly take care of me and that is… ME!

It’s not my husband’s job, although he’s kind enough to help. It’s not my employer’s job, although society is so dysfunctional that they’re taking it upon themselves to offer advice since people are not successfully caring for themselves at all now. It’s not my friends’ job, they’ve got their own problems, and as much as I can lean on them that’s different than being cared for by them. It’s not my kid’s job to recognize when I’m fatigued and burned out either, it’s my job to keep myself from it in the first place.

I’ve realized now how very vital it is to see my own mental health as important as the physical health that is just as affected by all this. I’ve come to see it’s up to me to take care of myself every single day, good, bad, or indifferent. I still want to accomplish things, which means I can’t just work myself to the bone and then collapse in a useless heap.

Taking care of myself does not mean simply shutting down or retreating when overworked. Behaving that way means I’m not moderating my efforts effectively. Hiding and disconnecting completely is a sign of not setting appropriate boundaries, or not choosing actions with enough forethought or consideration.

I’m recognizing my own limits and working to modulate that work output in the outset. It’s up to me to decide how to utilize my time and efforts to best effect. To rely on others to direct my work or rest is not only burdensome to them, it’s inappropriate. No one should need to tell me that perhaps I’m just tired or hungry, it’s my job to know when I’m in need of something. Whether it’s physical or emotional rest, I need to take it when I can, and make time for it when it seems to be detracting from productivity. Because productivity is unsustainable without a well prepared individual to get the work done well and efficiently.

Consider how often you’re tired and busy, and take it seriously when it’s time to commit to the next thing. Because saying “no, thank you” right now is hard, but failing others over it does not do anyone any favors in the long run. And if you can manage to say “no, thank you” at the right moments, it opens up more opportunities to enjoy it when you say “yes” and choose to spend time with others in your life who you care about and who care about you in return.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s