i don’t want to beat you because i don’t want to win at all. i don’t want to be on top, be first or be the best at any one thing.
At the first job I had full-time, I’ll never forget the day someone looked at me and said “don’t you want to move up?”… I didn’t even know what they meant. I had never been part of corporate culture, not even when I did work for a big corporation prior to them. But I had never understood, never made the connection, that everyone else was here to rise up in the long run.
For me, moving up should be no more necessity, no more frivolity. I don’t care to move up or down or sideways. I just want to support myself and my family. Where is up anyway? I’d rather not work, not because I’m lazy, but because I would like to spend that time in a better way. I wish I could support my community, my friends and family – with more than just money, items or position. I want to help support their dreams and feelings, make the world a better place and hold on to traditions.
I don’t want to earn more and more and more. I don’t want to compete with you, I want to collaborate with you. I want to work together to build the future of our dreams, eliminate suffering and foster harmony. I don’t want to get ahead of anyone else in this world. I don’t want to dominate anything or anyone. I don’t care if I’m in charge or I win anything. I don’t need external validation.
If we could make this world a better place for everyone, and satisfy our basic needs, I am sure we could find a way to get away from the idea that we need to compete. Endlessly achieving benchmarks for their own sake makes no sense in the face of true suffering and hate. It’s not that I don’t have goals or dreams, it’s that the ones I have are not just a means to serve me. I don’t want to be alone atop a mountain of losers, looking down on all the shattered dreams of my fellow humans. This world deserves more than nothing but Alpha/Type A oppressors. It deserves more than petty bickering and infighting. Ensuring my own success at anyone else’s expense is first of all not success, but also unacceptable.
I don’t care how I fare if I live in a world where little kids and grandmas are pushed out of the way. If you can’t be counted on to help when needed what is the point of living in the group experience? We were all children and will most of us grow old. I would rather care for those who are most vulnerable than turn my heart cold. I am not willing to do all the things it takes to make myself a success or bring someone else down to failure. I want to get along and work without pressure. I don’t need these demands on my life when I don’t care about “getting to the next level”.
I am here, I am good, and all I want is to exist unfettered.