I lean too heavily tonight

i already can’t ask for help,
and when I do it’s because I was in way over my head a long time ago and I’ve been desperate forever.
Things used to be different and I thought that everyone would still be that close now.
But we’re not.
We’re farther apart than ever before, and all of us stuck in our own heads.
I can’t stand how far apart we’ve grown and somehow they expect me to go on.
What are we to do?
Where have we come?
What is this place that keeps answers locked and tells us it’s not time for entry?
I feel so broke up, I want to go home.

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